Monthly Archives: April 2014

The Complexity of Simplicity

Photo: Maarit Suokas-Alanko

Photo: Maarit Suokas-Alanko

Ultimately life is very simple. It is so simple that most of us refuse to accept it.

The funny thing about life is that, to realize its simplicity, one has to go through the complexity in order to find the simplicity.

Here’s a list of some complexities and simplicities that I have been exploring during the past years:

  • It is not by adding, but by reducing, that we find happiness.
  • It is not by dispersing, but by focusing, that we find clarity.
  • It is not by hoarding more experiences, but by peeling away the thick skin of old experiences, that makes us see our personal richness.
  • It is by speaking only when we have something to say that we create true communication.
  • It is by listening in full presence, without commenting or trying to advice or fix, that we give the best support.
  • It is by answering to the question, and to the question only, that we give the best answer.
  • It is by doing only what we have been asked for, that is the best help. (At least most of the time.)
  • It is not by escaping but by feeling fully our negative feelings – but not acting them out – that we find emotional freedom and positivity.
  • It is by refraining from giving too much advice – even when asked for it – that we truly respect the freedom and independence of the other person.

How would your list look like?

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The two wings

Seeing and accepting, two themes that are essential in my personal approach to life, and in my approach as a Zen Coach. Related to this, I found a quote from a fellow blogger at MIndfulbalance blog, and I want to share the post with you, because it says it all in a nutshell.

Mindfulbalance

File:Bird in flight wings spread.jpg
The two parts of genuine acceptance — seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion —are as interdependent as the two wings of a great bird. Together, they enable us to fly and be free.The wing of clear seeing is described …..as mindfulness. This is the quality of awareness that recognizes exactly what is happening in our moment-to-moment experience. When we are mindful of fear, for instance, we are aware that our thoughts are racing, that our body feels tight and shaky, that we feel compelled to flee — and we recognize all this without trying to manage our experience in any way, without pulling away. The second wing of Radical Acceptance, compassion, is our capacity to relate in a tender and sympathetic way to what we perceive. Instead of resisting our feelings of fear or grief, we embrace our pain with the kindness of a mother holding…

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